1- Saints (Jim Crowe)
What a draft from Jim Crowe. He did not get the highest overall players, but had 5 over 75 overall, and his lowest overall being 69 (nice) with 10 draft picks! Crowe made a trade with Dolphins early for pick 48, giving up a 1st rounder next year, and cash considerations that he did not have (he was seen at a bank with a AK minutes after trade was accepted) but then turned around and traded his newly drafted Jack Sawyer for Antwon Ryland and then sent the cash considerations to JD, which both those trades mixed is absolute robbery.
All-American Kelvin Banks, Deontae Lawson, Jack Sawyer, Quinn Ewers, and even more 70+ players, absolutely disgusting great draft from Jimmy Crowe.
2- Browns ( Duece)
Very good draft from the browns here, filled nesscesssary holes. Many people seen browns going for Colorado QB Sheduer Sanders with Browns going for Bama QB Jalen Milroe.
My favorite part was that instead of taking Sanders in the 2nd, he took Emeka Egbuka which I believe was a way better selection especially with Sanders known personality problems. Josaiah Stewart and Devin Neal will also come in the clutch.
3- Chargers (MainEvent)
Again a lot of players, but this one is special, 9 players, with the lowest overall being 72. The only thing I don’t like is that the lowest overall comes in the 1st round with Golden, but dude still has WHEELS.
4- Jaguars (Tallented)
11 players, 11 fckn rookies man. THE LOWEST OVERALL BEING 67. Nick Emmanwori is going to be crazy as long with Shemar Stewart.
And as a razorbacks fan, Landon Jackson will not disappoint.
5- Buccaneers (DaddyBucc)
He has the least amount of picks in the top 5, with only 6 picks and only got 6 players, but one of those is Travis Hunter. This man drafted a all pro WR and CB, and now has a question to ask each game “where do I want to put this man D or O”
In a statement DaddyBucc said, “Competitive Mindset, youthful ignorance, and his hot AF gf down here in Tampa for me to raw dog while he waits outside the practice facilty for her ‘treatment’”
Bucc continued, “…playing two ways is cool, but he was strictly brought here for his GFs booty…”
Travis will CHANGE this team and make them win some games. Andrew Mukuba isn’t bad either, and Etienne is a great pick up. I like how much DaddyBucc was able to pick up with how little picks he had imagine if he had more.
6 Cowboys
Ashton Jeanty, Tyler Booker, Jaydon Blue, EJ Smith, all crazy pick ups over 78OVR. Will make SPLASHES for this team.
7 Eagles
A LOT of players and pretty good ones at that, the lowest is a 63, second lowest, a 70.
8 Dolphins
A lot of players, surprised the CPU picked this well.
9 49ers
A good lot of players, lowest overall a 68, cant wait to see how Jaxson dart Does this szn
10 Steelers
Hell lot of players, 2 80s in the first 2 picks, and got his Carson that Ravens coach stole.
11 Bills
Good group of guys here — no huge stars, but better top-to-bottom consistency than most. They didn’t get flashy, but their floor is higher than a lot of teams' ceilings.
12 Jets
Solid room of guys, some studs too, but those three players in the 60s drag the whole class down like JD on a twin-sized mattress.
13 Bears
14 Giants
Draft was bland — nothing popped. Just a lot of "he’s alright" type picks.
15 Raiders
Snagged Abdul Carter after the early draft start scandal, and got a few other serviceable guys.
16 Panthers
Two players in the 60s and a roster in shambles — solid picks but not nearly enough to save this Titanic.
17 Patriots
Will Campbell is crazy good, Benjamin Morrison’s a fine CB, but everything else is as memorable as a PowerPoint from 5th hour history.
18 Titans
Okay class, nothing special. Tried to interview the coach but only got Morse code: beep beep beep. Probably means "mid."
19 Lions
Only four picks but James Pearce is a certified problem. Give this man some pads and a paycheck.
20 Chiefs
Highest OVR was 74, lowest was 69 — very on brand. Ranked them around half of the coach’s age for accuracy.
21 Rams
Two 80s in this class! Will Johnson’s better than Denzel Burke with 90 speed — solid top but lacked depth overall.
22 Falcons
Two good first-rounders in Jalon Walker and Denzel Burke, but Burke’s 89 speed is like racing JD on foot — just not fast enough. Rest of the draft was mid.
23 Packers
Some okay names, but nothing goes "WOW." Kinda like a 40-year-old man’s erect penis — it works, but no one’s clapping.
24 Seahawks
Reached for a lineman in the 1st who was worse than others picked later. Did take Sheduer Sanders, so not all is lost.
25 Bengals
No pop at all. Judkins has 85 speed which feels like a foot race with my drunk uncle — not impressive.
26 Cardinals
Kenneth Grant is alright, but DT in the first is like picking salad at Golden Corral — boring.
27 Broncos
Room was okay but taking a 66 OVR MLB when better options were there is just bad business.
28 Texans
Only three picks, but two of them were 80s — can’t ignore that. High talent but no depth so they get stuck down here.
29 Ravens
My brother Hank Stevenson stole Carson Bruener from JD and maybe his draft binder too (not before sniffing JD’s chair). Draft was good but I ranked him randomly so no one says I’m biased.
30 Colts
Four players, no stars, but they did snag Colston Loveland which I actually liked. Swapped them up here above Commanders.
31 Commanders
Okay group of guys, four picks, but nothing jumped out. The warehouse grind doesn’t translate to the war room.
Only had three picks and one was from a trade with the Ravens. Sad to rank my maple leaf twin this low, but it is what it is.
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